Respect!

For most of my life I would hear people say, "if you want my respect, earn it." A long time ago a friend, whom I deeply respect, taught me a valuable lesson about respect. Here it is, and I hope it gives you good guidance.

What he taught me was: WHO AM I THAT YOU NEED TO EARN MY RESPECT!?

My friend taught me that by default everyone on this planet (everyone means everyone) has his respect, which is to say that he gives due regard to everyone's feelings, rights or traditions. I decided to live my life the same way.

Before we go any further, let's talk about what respect is not. Respect is not "like"; it is not "agree with"; and it is not an abdication of personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings, or traditions. And, it is not that someone is placed in higher regard or acclaim (even if that is one definition of respect).

What respect means that I understand you have the right to a different opinion on any topic in the world. It does not mean that me or anyone has to agree, accept or give any credence to your opinion. It means that I try (and sometimes fail) not to judge you, for any reasons. It does not mean acceptance of those things you do, say or believe in that I do not.

People today are demanding respect. Most, in my humble opinion, are not wanting respect, or to be treated respectfully: rather most demand that you agree with and accept their opinions (often without question), even if their opinions are contrary to your feelings, rights, or traditions. In other words, people are no longer asking you to earn their respect, or asking for equal or fair treatment, they are demanding that you abdicate your self-respect and hold them in the highest regard or acclaim that they hold themselves.

I often ask people to tell me the most important job or occupation in America, and why. There are many answers, for example, teachers, because they educate our youth and often times with little pay or appreciation; politicians, because they serve; doctors and nurses, because they heal; and, even lawyers, but nobody really knows what they do - they are perceived I guess as making a lot of money, so their job has to be important.

In my opinion, the most important job or occupation in America is the garbage man. Certainly, the professions mentioned above are important and COVID has taught us how much we need doctors, nurses and teachers (politicians and lawyers are intentionally excluded), but try and go two weeks without garbage service. Why does this job or occupation not get due regard for its contributions to society?

Let's quit judging each other and focusing on our perceived differences. Let's change our mindset and start respecting everyone by default.